A common reading mistake that causes failure (are you safe?)

Ever questioned what’s relevant for you on the information-overloaded web and how to get the most of reading? Ever felt that despite surfing for several hours you couldn’t gain anything significant?

I’m asking this because it’s possible that inaccurate or aimless reading could be burning your limited time derailing you from your real goal. "Multifarious reading," said Robertson of Brighton, "weakens the mind like smoking, and is an excuse for its lying dormant. It is the idlest of all idlenesses, and leaves more of impotency than any other."

Snatching information fragments from numerous sources might hone your keenness and quench your curiosity but the question you must consequently ask yourself is what improvement the acquired knowledge is bringing in you?

The knowledge that can’t be put to practical use is akin to the wealth which can’t be spent in need. So, before deciding to read something, devote few moments to define your purpose: Why am I going to read this? What’s the specific information I’m looking for? What do I want to achieve by this reading?

“The most profitable study,” says Samuel Smiles, “is that which is conducted with a definite aim and object.” If you don’t define an aim or set a limit in the current era of information overload, you might always feel that there’s a lot more to read, which can even cause you anxiety.

But the secret of seeking knowledge doesn’t lie in lots of reading. It lies in object-specific reading, so deep and sufficient that you soak up the knowledge and implement it to get desired results.

The reading which is guided by purpose, let it be frugal, is the real reading – not the reading which is much but without purpose. “It is not then how much a man may know, that is of importance, but the end and purpose for which he knows it,” Smiles adds.

Additionally, in the current age of distractions, it’s extremely crucial that you keep reminding yourself about your purpose because social networking websites and alluring links have great potential to distract you.

One of the best techniques that could prevent you from falling in the distraction ditch is to write your aim before opening any book or website because on the slightest hint of getting distracted you can refer to your written note to come back on track. And, psychologists say that when we write something, our subconscious mind begins to take us seriously – strengthening our commitment towards our aim.

What’s the specific branch that needs your urgent attention?

Work on it with full force and weed out the dead-wood.

Two causes why you can't quit and form habits

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests:

“Self-control requires a certain amount of glucose to operate unimpaired. A single act of self-control causes glucose to drop below optimal levels, thereby impairing subsequent attempts at self-control.”

Source

Several studies suggest that we have limited reserves of willpower, the fuel of our willpower is glucose, and this fuel depletes when we use our willpower to do or avoid actions.

“For instance,” Dr. Roy Baumeister, a researcher at Florida State University says, “In a study in my lab, we invited some students to eat fresh-baked chocolate-chip cookies, and asked others to resist the cookies and munch on radishes instead. Then we gave them impossible geometry puzzles to solve. The students who ate the cookies worked on the puzzles for 20 minutes, on average. But the students who had resisted the tempting cookies gave up after an average of eight minutes.”

Source

Now can you guess what are those two mistakes that prevent people to form good habits and quit bad ones?

They’re here:

1. They depend only on their willpower
2. They decide to work on too many habits at the same time

But according to recent studies humans have limited reserves of willpower. So, if despite Herculean efforts you aren’t able to form many habits at the same time, it means that your willpower is getting depleted.

In this situation you end up hating yourself, feel guilty, and jump on the conclusion that there’s a defect in your character.

Bullshit.

The truth is that the defect isn’t in your character – it’s in your approach.

So what’s the correct approach?

Well, the correct approach is to use your willpower strategically.

Start small

Let me assume that you want to form the exercising habit. You begin by doing hard labour, and with a resolve that you'll never quit it. But after a few days your enthusiasm evaporates and you quit.

In this situation, don't exercise for long time. Instead, start by exercising for 10/20 minutes. It’s much easier and soon you’ll see that it has become automatic with you. Then you can gradually increase the time.

Concentrate your focus

Focus mainly on one habit till its purpose (exercising or waking up early) becomes easy for you. In this way your complete willpower will get centred to hit its target with full force. You can then choose to work on the next habit, and then on the next one, and so on. It’s only a matter of time that you’ll install a number of productive habits.

Additionally, in my previous post I told you how I quit my bad habits without much willpower. (Though it’s on quitting bad habits, the advice and examples present in it will work equally well on forming good habits too.) I started small, implemented some clever tactics and made some changes in my environment to get success – thus using my willpower frugally and relying less on its limited reserves.

For instance, to get rid of Facebook addiction, I started resisting the urge only for 5 minutes and applied the Pomodoro Technique. To know more how you can start small, use clever tactics and change the environment, read that post here.

"Sow a thought and you reap an act; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.”

Samuel Smiles

How I quit these 4 sinful habits without much willpower

“If you don't want to slip, don't go where it's slippery.”

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS MAXIM

You get full of motivation to quit your bad habits and feel confident that you’re reach success – but after some time your towering motivation crumbles – compelling you to back off.

Your mistake?

You choose to rely only on your motivation and willpower.

The problem in this approach is that our motivation rises and falls. The moment we feel super-motivated, we’re able to go full-steam and do what we wish…but as that feeling drops we’re again back to that prison of bad habits.

The secret of quitting bad habits lies in clever techniques and bringing changes in the environment. See below how I got rid of my bad habits without much willpower but by changing the environment around and implement the advice on yourself.

1. The habit of waking up late

To change this habit, I bought a clock with the most hateful-sounding alarm. I used to place it far from me, at the height of 11/12 feet. When the alarm used to fill the morning silence with its nasty blare, I had to rush and climb up a chair to switch it off.

My mind used to rouse by the hateful alarm, getting out from the sweet sleeping mode. And when I had rushed and climbed up the chair to switch it off, I used to be active enough to snatch the fruitful morning moments to study and work. Now I’m habitual of waking early!

2. The habit of smoking

To quit smoking I started to buy one cigarette at a time instead of bringing the full packet of 10 or 20. Whenever I felt the urge to smoke, I had to get out of my room to walk to the shop to buy it. I started to delay smoking and sometimes didn’t even go to the shop because it was an effort for me.

Thus, several times I managed without smoking, and it made me realise that quitting smoking isn’t so difficult. Now without cigarettes I’m healthy and happy!

3. The habit of regularly checking Facebook

Amid deep work Facebook used to tempt me, killing my concentration. Resisting the evil urge luring me from a click away was too hard.

After failing to keep up the promise of checking Facebook once in a day, I started to take small steps. I started to resist the urge for 5 minutes. This small resistance rekindled the tiny embers of confidence, encouraging me to increase the resistance time.

I also used the Pomodoro Technique, which is setting aside small chunks of time for deep work and deciding to keep focusing on it until that time period is over. I started setting timer for 40 minutes, and decided that I’ll focus and give my complete concentration on my work during that time. If during those 40 minutes the urge of checking Facebook raised its head, I had to only tell it that the Pomodoro is on, and only a few minutes are left in it to get over. Now I don’t let Facebook interfere with my work!

4. The habit of regularly checking emails

Checking emails used to burn my time as fire burns wood. All my willpower had proved ineffective to quit this habit.

To tackle this, first I disabled the mail delivery from the mailing lists I was on, which cut the daily number of emails I received. I was thus prevented from getting into the enticing discussions and debates keep crackling there, which was a core cause for distraction.

Secondly, I used the Pomodoro Technique (which I also applied to get rid of Facebook addiction.) Now I’m not addicted to emails!

Back to you:

What’s the first bad habit you want to quit?

What tactics you’ll implement to quit it?

What fruitful changes quitting that bad habit will bring to your life?

How I stopped feeling weak and became strong

Image courtesy - Flickr

“Never compare your inside with someone else’s outside.”

Hugh MacLeod, author of Ignore Everybody

Hmm, let me guess…

You often compare your inward nature to the outward appearance of others without ever realising that it’s a blunder. As a result, you think that each human around you is superhuman – without weaknesses and insecurities.

But it isn’t so – people around you are just like you; they too have their share of weaknesses and insecurities. Let me tell an incident:

When I was new in the office, a group of strong men used to torture me for fun. I couldn’t do much to prevent them, because I felt that they’re emotionally tough, risk-welcoming fighters and have strong connections. I thought that giving them a fitting reply or complaining against them might add to my harassment or even cost my job.

Coincidentally, to do an assignment I was batched with the person who was the most creative in bullying me. The expected happened – he mocked at me, insulted me, and humiliated me.

But I felt it was too much. I stood against him; the frustration was piling up since a long time – and he was flabbergasted to see me so defiant. I threatened him not to repeat his foolishness and “Do whatever you wish and complain wherever; I don’t care.”

Will you believe what happened?

First he tried to dominate me, but seeing me giving him a damn challenge, that tough man, leader of all, started shivering and sat heavily in his chair, as if collapsing with nervousness. The people who surrounded him all turned to be hollow, cowards.

No connections, no threat-execution, nothing from him. He turned a perfect loser, and weaker than I could have ever expected. Since that event he hasn’t dared to cross his limit and gives me the respect I deserve.

I’ve experienced several similar incidents. Each incident has reinforced my belief that every human has weaknesses; there’re no super heroes around.

To stopped feeling weak and become strong you must accept the fact that every human has flaws like you. If in doubt, check the interviews of only a few celebrities, and you’ll understand.

“I was a coward. I used to be haunted by the fear of thieves, ghosts and serpents. I did not dare to stir out of doors at night. Darkness was a terror to me. It was almost impossible for me to sleep in the dark, as I would imagine ghosts coming from one direction, thieves from another and serpents from a third. I could not therefore bear to sleep without a light in the room. ”

Mahatma Gandhi, All Men are Brothers: Autobiographical Reflections

Secret to overcoming needless regret and solidifying confidence

Image courtesy - Flickr

To understand the secret, imagine yourself in this situation:

You’ve to buy a smartphone from the abundant options the market is overflowing with. Before making the purchase, you:

• Get clear about the features/tasks you want the phone for
• Compare phones offering those features and shortlist one or two of them
• Look for users’ honest experiences online and in real world
• Check if the price of the chosen product will cut in the near future and analyse if it’s worth waiting (though this hinges on miserliness)

But why should you go through this process?

To ensure that you get the most suitable product making the best of your hard-earned money. You value your labour and the money it brings you.

You’re contented to make a wise investment. You’re proud to make the purchase...but some days later you learn that the rates of the phone you bought have been cut by 20% because rival companies have come up with newer phones to toughen the competition.

Pause and tell how you’ll feel?

Let me guess...

You’ll feel you’re an idiot. You’ll feel cheated and guilty and accuse yourself. And why not? Haven’t you made a mistake?

Was your research weak?

No. Because you adequately researched about phones online and in the real world.

Weren’t you aware about the new launches the market had in store that could cut the rates of your phone?

Well, you researched on top technology websites, but nowhere you received that piece of intelligence.

Can I tell your mistake?

You aren’t all-knowing, omniscient – because you’re a human. You collect information and take decision according to it. It’s beyond your abilities to predict what’s in the unforeseeable future, you can only guess or interpret it citing the information/facts available to you.

Often after making a decision we feel “We should have known it before,” but knowing the unknowable is beyond human abilities. Regretting over such ‘mistakes’ is as foolish as regretting that you can’t fly – you don’t have that ability.

If you’re regretting over something you “should have known,” it’s foolishness because you’re accusing yourself for something you don’t have the ability of doing.

Josh Kaufman of The Personal MBA calls this hindsight bias. It’s crucial that you discard this bias before judging yourself – because firstly it makes you regret over foolish things and secondly it prevents you from building confidence in yourself.
Accept that you and others are bound to make mistakes – it’s wise that you stop accusing yourself and others for “not knowing the unknowable”. Wasting energy over things that aren’t in your hands is senseless; instead focus on opening ways to move forward.

If you bring a shirt that fades, don’t call yourself a stupid. If you get into a job/course/relationship that turns unsuitable for you, don’t accuse yourself.

Do your best research before making a decision. If the result isn’t good, don’t be unduly harsh with yourself because it can impact your self-esteem. Treat yourself in a friendly and justifiable way, and have some space to breathe.

You aren’t bad. You judge yourself harshly and unjustly. You’re better than you think yourself to be.

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

RALPH WALDO EMERSON, ESSAYIST AND POET

Seventeen reasons why you aren’t successful

I’m going to slap your foolish beliefs on your face so you change yourself. So you feel self-guilt on the correct points – not on the wrong ones like “Am becoming old but haven’t been able to earn enough”, “My parents have done a lot for me, how to help them?” etc.

Ready?

1. Because you feel that if a height has never been accomplished before, it’s impossible for you to accomplish it.
2. Because you lack the passion of squeezing out your blood and flesh to produce the damn best.
3. Because you give too much weight to the opinion of unsuccessful mediocrity that you lose your ambition.
4. Because you don’t build an inner mechanism that could keep you immune from the bullshit spewed by the mediocrity.
5. Because you get influenced by the mediocrity and start cursing luck, society etc. instead of giving it a terrific effort.
6. Because you try to live according to the mediocrity instead of making the mediocrity live according to you.
7. Because you confuse reality with negativity to such a degree that you conclude that negativity is reality.
8. Because you confuse unreality with positivity to such a degree that you conclude that positivity is unreality.
9. Because you don’t talk it out with yourself that if people can achieve success in worse circumstances than yours, why can’t you.
10. Because you don’t have a firm faith in the beautiful law of regular labour.
11. Because you don’t believe that you can snatch it.
12. Because you fear failures and hence are satisfied in not trying it out.
13. Because you don’t know that failures are meant to harden you so you can destroy your obstacles from ground level.
14. Because your tank of motivation empties but you don’t strive to fill it back.
15. Because you give in to fears invented by your imagination that never exist in reality.
16. Because you keep waiting for the correct moment to arrive while the correct moment is when one decides going full- steam.
17. Because you misuse your resources studying your competitors’ work instead of launching a work that could throw them out of competition.

How to remove clutter and write clearly

One day I will find the right words, and they will be simple.

Jack Kerouac

The aim of writing is telling your reader something, not showing off your language skills. Many popular words, however, serve no purpose except burdening the reader with extra interpreting work and misusing resources – most crucial of which is the reader’s time. The reader clicks Back if after each sentence he pauses to convert your complex script to clear writing.

Does each word you write express a new idea? If not, it is clutter. Many managers and bureaucrats communicate in cluttered words, because a popular misconception is that the more puffed up your prose is, the more important it is. A note by a power-conscious manager to his subordinates goes like this:

The company, through this written communication, would like to bring to the esteemed consideration of its junior as well as senior employees that for the purpose that the company continue to operate with efficiency and consistency, the arrival and exit of its well-regarded cadre should be right according to the stipulated working hours.

This manager is telling the employees:

I request you to be punctual for office to maintain efficient work.

The first version is suffocating and seems to be typed by a robot. The second version is open and seems to be written by a human. For some stylish educationalists, however, the second version is very simple, so something has to be wrong with it. “But,” says William Zinsser in his book On Writing Well, “the secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components.”

If any word isn’t doing a new work, remove it – no matter how fashionable it appears. Pay particular attention to adverbs because often we unnecessarily fill them. Here are two examples:

He laughed happily. (‘Happily’ is clutter.)

She cried sadly. (‘Sadly’ is clutter.)

Additionally, there is no need to add phrases such as “In my humble opinion,” “It is to be noted,” “It is obvious” etc. Your writing style works as an intangible to tell what is humble, noteworthy, obvious etc. Don’t write “I would like to particularly add at this crucial juncture of conversation,” just add it. Don’t write “It is sad to note,” just make it sad. Don’t write “The important topic to be discussed by us today is child abuse,” just start discussing. People use words in excess (adverbs, adjectives and pompous phrases) because they are unconfident about the effectiveness of their piece. Writers don’t need extra words to influence their readers because their style does it.

Repeating the key points for the sake of emphasis is another problem. Tell the key point, move forward to touch a new one; if it carries weight it needs no emphasis. To check repetition, review your piece and copy the sentences expressing related points. Reread those points and see what can be cut to prevent repetition. From the previous paragraph I deleted “Extra words waste the reader’s time” because I had said it when in the first paragraph I wrote “popular words” do no work except “misusing resources – most crucial of which is the reader’s time.” (And I prefixed “Additionally” to slip to the next paragraph.)

Sometimes repetition is required in the end but before adding every new word the question must be: does each word you write express a new idea?

Two negotiating stupidities we do to look dumb

Ever surveyors and salesmen cheated you?

See how I was cheated to save yourself.

While I waited for my bus reading TheHindu, two girls of around 22 years invited me in their company’s survey, but I refused their invitation.

“Okay, thank you,” said the girls, requesting, taking out their pen and notebook, “but can you please take out some time to answer a few quick questions?”

I dislike answering irrelevant questions and getting interrupted in reading, but I couldn’t refuse again.

Questioning about the soap, shampoo, toothpaste, internet I use; if I prefer branded clothes etc., they lastly asked, attentively looking in my eyes, “Sir, you gave us a considerable time, though you were engaged in reading. Can we know if we had directly demanded your ten minutes instead of first asking you to come to our company premises, would you have agreed?”

I returned their attentive look, realizing – “I would have not let you take my time if you had directly requested me to answer your questions” – but fearing its rudeness, I hesitated and paused.

“Sir,” said the girls, reading my expressions, “we are sorry – we neither belong to any company nor we are conducting any survey. We are psychology students experimenting the rule of concession with people. You would have not disengaged yourself from reading if we had requested you to give us ten minutes. Right?”

I said “Yes.”

“That’s why,” continued the girls, “we first kept forth a request requiring significant effort (coming to our company to participate in a survey) and then contrasted it with a small request, and you agreed.”

This rule of concession is greatly used on us, yet we fall victim to it. Purchase clothes, vegetables or hire a worker, you will hear the first price much higher than the original value.

In the aforementioned incident, however, the girls placed “a request requiring significant effort” and then “contrasted it with a small request” to get my approval on things I dislike – “answering irrelevant questions and getting interrupted in reading”. Two main reasons that compelled me to go against my wish:

1. I compared their first request to the second which was small

2. I felt guilty to refuse for the second time

And, these are the two main reasons that induce us to be exploited by the rule of concession. To decrease or eliminate the effectiveness of this rule, neither we should compare options – nor feel guilty. Therefore, at every step of your negotiation, be vigilant that these two emotions don’t influence you.

But be careful that you don’t cross the limits of humanity or politeness because then one becomes selfish and arrogant. How to be in these limits and yet have an edge is a delicate problem that arises next.

Do you know any solution of this problem? If yes, leave your intelligent comment or send a post to shadabhsn@gmail.com, I might publish it.

Postscript: The psychology students incident I wrote above was to give you a better understanding of the rule of concession. It was fictitious.

Bill Gates guided me

{This article of mine was published in the magazine of La Martiniere Boys' College, Lucknow, where I used to study.}

Ever feared if an unpreventable circumstance cuts you off this school and cancels your option of studying elsewhere?

WHAM.

Your life will come to a creaking halt. You will be burdened with more dullness than you can ever imagine. Yup, you will have a lot of time, but it has pleasure because currently you are busy. You will be friendless, lonely, and inactive.

So was I when a progressive visual impairment compelled me to leave this school. I failed in class 6th half yearly first but was then promoted to 7th where before getting out of this school I failed again and afterwards met more failures in grad and post grad also! Simple.

Yeah, you guys might have guessed that I was not so good at studies. Right.

And yeah, you guys might have also guessed that I kind of enjoyed my failures and school-getting out. Wrong.

These failures with my school-separation made me think of committing suicide. The sorrow of being separated from my school, teachers and friends is so seething that it still wounds my heart, though in time, I got over my failures. More years than a decade has have past and I continue to dream that I have returned to my early youth and am studying in your school. I rarely regret over things, but I deeply regret that a good piece of my teenage, in which each moment is more precious than a gold coin, has wasted. So sad, so fresh, the days that are no more. Tennyson. But…

Martinians! Changing the paragraph here because now am going to show you the positive side of the game.

Deprived of regular education, faltering over failures – and therefore exposing myself to mockery, I started to form a belief of my own.

I was sure that my academic record is not the measuring stick for my talents and potential. Charles Dickens had a formal education of not more than four years. Bill Gates was a Harvard dropout; Steve Jobs (the Apple guy) too was a dropout – Google out his college/university name – and btw Google-choreographers Larry Page and Sergey Brin were Stanford abandoners. Sachin also was a failure. In academics.

Back to me: I tried harder than one can think to pass in English but failed several times before I could obtain 3rd division marks. so much I was committed to my education that even if for a day I was unable to study, I used to fall ill.

Sometimes my failures filled me up with self-guilt, but my teacher (who presently is your principal) used to praise my writing, telling it would be my forte! A comforting thought for me was (and still is) that an eminent person and several people with knowledge have praised me for it, so I keep going. I currently am not a famous writer but am trekking that mount.

To my joy, I have got two job offers to work as a writer. Imagine in this competitive time a blind person with poor academics getting such offers.

I don’t do the blunder of defining myself by academic record or small achievements/failures. Nor Dickens, Gates, Jobs, Page, Brin did.

Will you?

Top success secrets you must know to beat failures

How bad of me! I tried hard yet I have failed in my exams. My heart is aching to think that my all friends have passed but I alone am left to drag behind. I am feeling lonely, but I don’t want to meet anyone, because they will ask about my exams.

Edward

If you are a fellow in action – unsatisfactory results can come your way. And over this you might stew, worry or better – run into depression like fictitious Edward.

BANG.

Actually this is the perfect opportunity for you to grow, improve, succeed and enjoy life in earnest.

Agree not with the above statement. agreeing with it without putting it to pass the test of understanding won’t be useful. Hmm, let us test the whole success-failure thing.

Is snaching superb marks the true success? But you might say many in the successful chunk such as Charles Dickens and Suchin Tendulkar had irregular studies.

Is landing on high-status jobs the true success? Now you might tell me the names of Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Albert Einstein – not to name Mahatma Gandhi or Nelson Mandela.

But, folks around us get stuck with such stupid, incorrect view of success – consequently depriving themselves from achieving the true success. Never allow those folks to put their unrealistic view into your head.

From whence then comes the true success?

The real success gushes forth from the passion to move on with a joyous heart even if besieged with failures.

Thomas Edison failed more than a thousand times before inventing the electric bulb. He said, "I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward."

A predominant characteristic of ultimate achievers is that at every failure they eliminate ineffective techniques and keep on implementing new methods till they snatch success.

If you, in true sense, want to be successful – alter your perception of success. Don’t worry over small failures because they often prevent a person with talent to achieve true success.

There are people who have suffered huge failures but did not allow self-guilt to impede their actions.

You all know the war of Cargill in which Pakistan suffered a shameful defeat. Pervez Musharraf was the person to lead the Pakistani army to retreat. Instead of drowning in self-guilt or shame, he overthrew the democratically elected government and took the reins in his hands.

Place yourself in his situation – had you been able to face your countrymen and international media after such a debacle?

Only those who think that they have failed, fail. But those who choose to strive against odds emerge successful.

Advertisements are depression cure

Your friend was catching up an accelerated speed at his career track but a speed breaker activated power brakes putting a halt to that bustle. Pieces of encouragement like “You should come out of this sadness” or “Be positive” have gone in vain. And your constant care is bothering him because he doesn’t want his condition to attract attention.

Let me ask you a question before writing more:

What you feel when after a long gap you smell the soap or perfume you have earlier used for months or years? Hang in there and think!

Hang in there! Read further but first try to answer my question.

Let me guess…

Hmm, you unconsciously recollect the old time and slightly link yourself to it. Ever put on a T-shirt for a long time? Put it on again and you are with a shade of emotions of those old days. Right?

But tell me what on earth this has to do with encouraging a person?

By playing smartly with your friend’s unconscious mind, you can indirectly encourage him even if he is not so open to talk about his problem.

Say, if your friend had interest in photography, chat with him up about the incident when he was praised due to his skill or ask and push him to show you the photographs he had clicked and bounded over with joy and merriment. The effect of those beloved photographs will land him to the joy he had felt when he was in the buzz of activity.

His passion, hard work, admirations and all that crazy stuff will come afresh to him. The powerful feelings linked to the time which was the prime of his career will trigger a kind of joyous tides in his heart producing a bittersweet sentiment.

Sounds impractical? But when the odor of an insignificant product can refresh the old memories making you feel a reflection of the emotions of that time, then why cannot the things which were once so dear to your friend produce some tiny tides of joy in his heart?

Now you have to convert these tiny tides to a raging hurricane so that the dust of dullness and depression can be swept off – putting your friend back on the progress track.

But how to do that?

Advertisements can fetch you superb ideas. Advertisers fan our emotions in a manner that we link them to their products. When we watch Salman Khan saying in a risk-welcoming tone “Aj kuch tufani karte hain,” (Let’s do anything stormy today), our emotions intensify and we feel that Thums Up is meant for people who are fashionable, who are risk-welcoming, who know how to enjoy life etc. And when we toss open the bottle and gulp that injurious beverage, a reflection of the joy we had felt while watching the ad runs in our unconscious mind.

If you ride a Discover, you have a passion for speed and solidity. If you consume Panbahar Crystal, you are special and rich. If you use Everest for cooking food, you are a mom with lots of smarts.

The crux is to put the emotions of your friend to such an extreme that he links himself to the joy he had felt and can feel by restarting his old lifestyle.

Six tips to make a good resume

So what does it take to compose a perfect resume? A resume that could compel your potential recruiter to do an interview with you for that dream job? Remember your resume it is that positions the human resource person to form an idea about the kind of employee you can prove for the company.

A slip at this first correspondence and your chances for getting on that job are hacked. “This guy is not serious for the job,” the resume reviewer might declare. A cliché would be worth mentioning here: first impression is the last.

So a few tips to help you choreograph a good resume.

1. Write precise headings: Precise headings such as “Editing of sport section” remove ambiguity about the task you have undertaken. If you write “Editing” it will oblige the HR to read further which is highly improbable – given the workload of browsing numberless resumes to select a few. Resumes with specific headings are read in detail, not those with unclear headings. Let not the busy HR trash your resume because of imprecise, ambiguous headings.
2. Use rich keywords: Recruiters use ATS (Automated Tracking System) to skim over the resumes of potential employees. Resumes that are not keyword-rich don’t come in the radar of ATS, consequently filtering off loads of resumes. Ads and descriptions of the jobs you are applying for contain strong keywords, so write them in your resume in a manner that it does not amount to wordiness. Keyword stuffing will trim your chances of getting the interview call. And keyword weakness might throw your resume off the sight – so strike the right balance.
3. Support your claims: If you enlist the talents or skills you possess (i.e. leadership, creativity, practicality), supply some examples to support them – such as “Lead a team to take signatures of industrialists for manufacturing environmental-friendly products” or “Created an ap for farmers to know about the specific climate conditions” etc. merely writing your qualities will prompt the HR to search for evidence so that she can be convinced by your claims. Absence of evidence here will imply negativity.
4. Hobbies: If you do decide to mention hobbies, they must match the job profile in some way. Mention them only if you feel their mention is giving a hint to the HR that it will be a complement to the job profile. For example, you can write “Travelling,” “Meeting people,” etc., for an opening in journalism. Don’t write “Playing with children” as I did or “Chatting with friends” as others might do. The thirst for expressing hobbies should be quenched in a different company, not with prospective employers.
5. Pronouns: Your resume is a document about yourself, so it is a given that you will talk about yourself in it. Therefore, there is no need of using pronouns such as “I” and “me”.
6. Proofreading: Proofreading is an extremely crucial part of resume composing. To err is human, and it is very likely that you might make mistakes in writing lower case or upper case, in mentioning the names, phone numbers or addresses, so proofread your resume as many times as sufficient. You can also get a friend or any professional to review your resume before sending it out to your potential recruiter.

There are a host of other tips to making a resume as well, but I mentioned only a few. Were these tips helpful for you? Can you put any suggestions across? Want to share your views or any learning experience with the readers of this blog? Please do write your comments.

Eight tips to overcome ragging

Tips such as ‘Ignore them’ or ‘Be strong’ contain wisdom but very often we fail to apply them when surrounded by insensitive and merciless leg pullers. Yes, ‘Ragging is a small issue’, yet it often makes you feel miserable, so I am writing here the tips that worked excellently with me.

• Q: Know a simple fact that those who indulge in ragging are childish fellows. Treat them as you treat children. You will start enjoying their stupidity. If, amid an uproar of laughter you are able to genuinely smile, it would be overwhelming. Believe me, a couple of genuine smiles and casual retorts (i.e. ‘You are talking nonsense’ or ‘I think you seem to be crazier today’) have the potential to frustrate the entire bunch.
• W: Be full of ambition. Soichiro Honda had to face insulting laughter of his instructors and fellow students for a long time after his piston ring, which he created using his whole wealth, was rejected by Toyota. If he had cared about that ragging, we would have not heard the automobile company Honda. Schopenhauer had said it long ago: "Vulgar people take huge delight in the faults and follies of great men."
• E: Don’t keep retorting if a group is ragging you. Let them pass a lot of comments, this will somewhat tire them and decrease their interest. At a suitable time, confront the leader fearlessly and carelessly, your unexpected audacity would knock the stuffing out of him. Contrary to the popular opinion, many times people enjoy to see their leader under fire, so the chances for you to get a silent support are high. And the belief that only excessive or loud talk can help you overpower ragging is baseless.
• R: You might not be good at repartee. Don’t worry. Your brisk expressions matter much more than a quick-witted retort said unconfidently. Just remark fearlessly and casually as said above.
• T: If you have a group ragging you, and you feel that alone you are helpless, then you are totally incorrect. On the contrary, a little spark of cheerfulness is enough for you to make them sad because they will realize your unmoved will and their inability to derive enjoyment out of you. You don’t know the joy you get by sending a crowded bunch of leg pullers in a state of unexpected nervousness. Only your loneliness can offer this opportunity to you!
• Y: Don’t escape your leg pullers, because among other points, A: within your heart you might feel that you are weak, B: they will hunt you, and C: as it is rightly said – escaping from a problem is never a solution. Instead, if the situation requires you to go to them, shock them by plunging yourself among them energetically and cheerfully. Your body language plays a key role in holding back the leg pullers. Keep it dashing.
• U: Know it very properly that your leg pullers are inflicting losses on themselves. This I understood after worrying and burning terribly as two people sharply taunted and abused me pretty continuously. I was so frustrated that I felt like beating myself or getting violent with them, which they probably wanted. But one day I thought that they naturally are inflicting losses on themselves by wasting one of the best God’s gifts, which is time. Had I indulged in taking revenge, I would have not been able to inflict a tenth part of the injury that those adult kids caused to themselves.
• I: Thank your leg pullers because they remarkably help you develop your personality. You hatch out new ways of handling people and, this, besides making you resilient, sometimes compels you to go against your personality, which unbelievably hones your soft skills.

Can you suggest more methods of tackling ragging? Was this post useful? Please tell me by leaving a comment.

Ten Effective Tips to Clear Interviews

Testing soft skills or your personality is the main motive of interviews. After giving a go-ahead to your hard skills or academic background, the interviewers basically test how practical you are. Here are ten tips that would help you clear an interview:

1. Smile: Greet the interviewers warmly, with a pleasant smile. Your actions affect your mood, so even if you are nervous, a smile would remarkably ramp up your confidence. (A smile radiates positive energy...everyone likes a smiling face...and stuff like that you probably would have read.)
2. Back your claims: If you say you like travelling or reading, you would be asked about the places you have visited or the books you have read. If you say you possess good leadership qualities, supply some examples to back up your claim. For example, “I was a school prefect,” “I was the team leader in a college campaign carried out against global warming” etc.
3. Be honest: Know that people who probably have interviewed thousands of potential employees can read you like a book. Never even think of making up a story because it is a child’s play for the interviewers to catch you lying. Subtle, quick cross questioning is only one technique to have the truth blurted out from you. in obvious deceptions no one even takes the pain of doing this exercise. If you lag behind in a field, the employer can hire you because there is always a scope for improvement. But dishonesty is rejected outright. (I had a poor interview, yet I was offered the job because the interviewers found me honest. I was so nervous that I could not think of dishonesty!)
4. To the point: Know that your to-the-point answers manifest your focused approach. An imprecise answer gives a number of questions to the interviewers. Answering these needless questions could confuse you, deeply cutting your chances of getting the job. (Beware, interviewers sometimes take delight in boggling the minds of such interviewees.)
5. Never be overfriendly: An HR can talk with you as if you are his buddy. This can be to make you feel comfortable or to see your reaction. At such an instance, know that he is your employer, maintain decency and never become overfriendly – because generally ill-mannered people cross their limit.
6. Keep your cool: You can be asked one question repeatedly, smile and answer it as many times it is asked. It can be to see how cool and patient you are. The interview room is one of the worst places where you could brandish your irritation or anger. It isn’t the place where you gulp drinks with your girlfriend or hubby:P
7. Never lose hope: No matter how many times you fumble or could not answer, never think that you have spoilt the interview. If you are unable to answer the initial questions, forget it and give your best to answer the remaining ones. If you gracefully accept that you don’t know the answers, the HR can get impressed. Additionally, your calm expressions would talk expressively about how well you handle pressure.
8. Don’t backbite: Don’t backbite your teachers, former employers or anyone. By backbiting, a prospective employer, among other points, thinks A: You are not good at handling people, B: You are a job hopper or an unsteady employee, C: You will similarly backbite him as well. If discrimination has happened with you, and the situation really warrants you to speak about it (i.e. the interviewer inquires – “Why you quit your previous job?”), try to give an objective account of things and prompt the interviewer himself to conclude what you wish to say.
9. Information of the company: It is crucial that you have some information of the company you are seeking a job in. Log on to the website of the company and gather key facts about it – such as when it was founded, who is the CEO/president, its headquarters etc. Full forms of the companies famous by their acronyms like IBM (International Business Machine) should always be inquired. Small questions, if remain unanswered, can potentially make you embarrassed. Never overlook them.
10. Overcome your nervousness: Know a simple fact that it is not the only opportunity, the market is full of openings. The worst that could happen to you is that you won’t get that job. It is nothing. Try again. Fail again. Keep trying. You will surely be successful!

Refuse to give up

We are what we think.

All that we are arises

With our thoughts.

With our thoughts,

We make our world.

Lord Buddha

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A child was born in 1880, who, nineteen months later, lost her senses of hearing and sight. Think that can a deaf and blind child learn speaking or ever know the ways of the world? Yet this child grew to tell us: “Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.” At 10 this deaf and blind child wished to speak, and she did it. This child thought in her heart – “Some day I shall enter college.” Years later she received her bachelors degree from the Radcliffe College. Universities of Harvard and Temple, U.S.; Glasgow, Scotland; Berlin, Germany; Delhi, India; and Witwatersrand in Johannesburg, South Africa offered her honorary doctoral degrees. Brazil’s Order of the Southern Cross, Japan’s Sacred Treasure, the Philippines’ Golden Heart, Lebanon’s Gold Medal of Merit, United States of America’s the Presidential Medal of Freedom were only few prestigious prizes bestowed upon her. A superb hurricane she was to send back the devastating waves that came to crush her; we know her by the name of Helen Keller!

When I read her autobiography – The Story of my Life– I was filled with shame, thankfulness and encouragement. I found it difficult to face myself; yet a drive to work and overcome my fears and weaknesses terrifically shook my soul and body.

Helen Keller brought light and enjoyment in her life and continues enlightening the lives of numerous others because she had made her world with her thoughts. Her positive thinking prompted her to find ways and take actions to realise her ambitions despite her so-called disabilities. As she thought that she will do it, she shook off the limitations her deafness and blindness had imposed upon her.

Lesson learnt:

Your circumstances won’t be able to prevent you from achieving success if you think you can do it! Lord Buddha: “We are what we think. / All that we are arises / With our thoughts. / With our thoughts, / We make our world.”

You will never hear a negative comment from successful people. True, at some points they might have uttered pessimism, but sometimes it is natural for humans to feel low.

Once a man became so hopeless and frustrated that he wished to die. But he refused to give up. He made a comeback and went on to write immortal books and earned so much success that his name H. G. Wellsis permanently engraved in the list of great people.

Who can prevent you from making a comeback like Wells did?

Think an answer before reading further...

Do not read, first think an answer.

No one – nothing has the power to stop you! Numerous powers are lying in disuse within yourself, use them. You are not using even a little part of your abilities. I am saying this because I have read what William James, who is referred as the founder of modern psychology, has said for you. Read the words of that great personality:

“Compared with what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly, the human individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use.”

Success is your right. Except your negative thoughts, no one, no circumstances can deprive you from claiming it. People who blame nonexistent things like luck or chance remain far from success. But the fact that you are reading this post till this point proves that you do not belong to that bunch. You may have become hopeless like Wells, but you can certainly become successful as him as well.

Do you have the courage to make a comeback?

Road to Success

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

Holy Bible

“Some day I shall be the president.”

Abraham Lincoln

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As a first step to develop your personality, think what you think about yourself. Do you think you have the right kind of attitude and abilities that will enable you to be successful? Note that a “yes” from you would carry credibility only if you are putting forth a significant amount of efforts to move closer to your goal, because successful personalities prove beyond doubt that nothing is achieved without terrific efforts. If you are not executing efforts and answering “Yes,” then being polite I would like to tell you that you are dishonest with yourself.

Lincoln thought deep in his heart “Some day I shall be the president.” He proved that his thinking is honest because he worked diligently to achieve his aim. Bible: “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

When will you start giving the required efforts from? From next month? From next week? From tomorrow?

No! From self experience I know that such resolutions are self-deceiving. The best time to employ yourself at a good work is the present moment. Feel shame for your inactivity, and if you are really apologetic, you must take the road to success at this very moment. Your movement ought to have such force that it also compensate for the time you have wasted.

You might frown at my unsympathetic words. True, I am not even a tiny drop of liquid in the vast ocean. But even if I had been like Lincoln, I would have not sympathised with you. You and I need motivation, much better if it is self motivation, not sympathy.

We have hidden powers like Lincoln or Newton had – they discovered and used those powers to improve their own, as well as the lives of numerous others. We are so big, motivated, powerful etc. that we don’t need sympathy. Sympathy of another human, let him be however elevated, makes a man dependent and resultantly he remains far from achieving the true success. Only God can sympathise with his creations. Dependence on God is the only dependence that makes us independent.

At this moment you don’t have a teacher or boss who could discipline yourself. In order to swing yourself into action, like successful personalities you need to exercise self-discipline, and self-discipline bears sweeter fruits than the discipline which is imposed upon you because it requires a greater effort of the will and significantly solidifies it. (The greater the plough, the better the yield.) This absence of a higher authority has provided you the opportunity to really test your will and sincerity. Will you be able to prove to yourself that you have the devotion and single-mindedness you need to succeed?

Then write out the answers to the following questions:

• What is my goal?
  
• How important it is for me to achieve it?
  
• What actions until now I have taken to get closer to it?
  
• Were there any faults or weaknesses in my approach?
  
• What I must do to eliminate them?
  
• What I need doing to accelerate my progress?
  

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Will be writing the next post for those who think themselves to be weak or untalented as many successful personalities did before achieving success. Till then, you must also answer the aforementioned questions, motivate and change your thinking on your own because you can certainly do it.

More common mistakes of English language

Mentioned here are some more common mistakes of English language. Please note that I will not go in detail because my aim in this post is to highlight the difference of the words that are similar and to furnish obvious errors so that readers can correct their mistakes. I request you to kindly let me know what you feel about these posts either by leaving your comments or by writing to me. Be brutally honest, your feedback will be of immense importance to me.

• “Seize” and “cease”. “S-e-i-z-e” is a verb and means to grab something: “I seized the opportunity of having coffee with him.” “My warden ma’am seized my phone.” “The police seized his property” “C-e-a-s-e” is also a verb and means to stop, end, desist etc. “We are ceasing to design websites.” “Our excellent services would never cease for our customers”
• “Except” and “accept”. “E-x-c-e-p-t” is a preposition and means apart from, excluding, but etc. “Except on Sundays, I don’t like wearing T-shirts.” “Except George, everyone passed” “A-c-c-e-p-t” is a verb and means to take, receive, agree, believe etc. “Please accept my offer.” “I accepted the letter.” “John accepted that I was right”
• “Effect” and “affect”. “E-f-f-e-c-t” is a noun and means result, consequence, outcome etc. “The effect of the revolution is that they gained independence.” “A-f-f-e-c-t” is a verb and means have an effect on, to pretend. “The bad weather affected my health.” “Ever since he has returned from America, he affects their accent.”
• “Site,” “sight” and “cite”. “S-i-t-e” is a noun and means a place, location, spot etc. “The construction site.” “S-i-g-h-t” is a noun and means view, spectacle, scene, the ability to see etc. “From this lobby the sea sight looks marvellous.” “Joe has some sight problem.” “C-i-t-e” is a verb and means to quote, name, mention, refer etc. “Citing the example of Gandhiji, Gita represented the theme of nonviolence.” “William cited several authentic books to prove his point.”
• “Practice” and “practise”. “P-r-a-c-t-i-c-e” is a noun and means rehearsal, preparation, training etc. “A week before the final presentation, it was the practice of students to give presentations among themselves.” “Peter made it a practice to run five kilometres every morning.” It is important to note that “practice” is also used as a verb in US English. “P-r-a-c-t-i-s-e” is a verb and means to repeatedly do something in order to gain mastery etc. “Everyday Sara practises on the typewriter.”
• The plural of “life” is “lives” not “lifes”. It should be “Our lives are good here” not “Our lifes are good here.”
• The plural of “wife” is “wives” not “wifes”. It should be “Tom’s wives are opposing his third marriage,” not “Tom’s wifes are opposing his third marriage.”
• Many people, writing the plural of “NGO,” put an apostrophe such as “NGO’s,” which is wrong. The correct word would simply be “NGOs”.
• The plural of “software” is never “softwares”. When I searched the plural form of “software,” I found out that it is a collective noun.
• “In fact” are two separate words, but many people join “in” with “fact” such as “Infact” which is wrong.

Common errors of English language

Common errors of English language

I am listing some common errors of English language.

• It is always “ma’am” but many people omit the apostrophe and write “mam” which is a blunder.
• In “up to,” there is always a space between “up” and “to”. It is never “upto”.
• In a sentence with “though,” “but” is not needed. You cannot say, “Though Tom is good, but his company is bad.” The correct sentence will read: “Though Tom is good, his company is bad.”
• “I will be more happier” is a blunder because double comparative is used. It should simply be “I will be happier.” This rule should be applied on all the similar sentences.
• People frequently err using “my” and “mine”. When “my” is used, the object has to be mentioned such as “My computer is not working.” “Where is my mobile?” “My shirt is loose” etc. But, when we use “mine,” the talked about object does not need to be mentioned. For example, if Tom talks further to “My computer is not working” – It should be “But mine is working well” – not “My is working well.” If he needs to answer the question “Where is my mobile?” it would be “It is with mine” – not “It is with my.” And talking about the shirt, he can say “Mine is fit” not “My is fit.”
• Difference between “Lose” and “Loose” is very obvious yet sometimes people get confused. “Lose” is a verb which means to be defeated – “Those who think they will win never lose,” to misplace or drop “I have lost my pen,” etc. “Loose,” on the other hand, is an adjective which means something not fit, tight etc. “My shirt is loose.” “Loose” can also be used as a verb. There are other meanings of these words but I merely highlighted the difference.
• “Does it works?” “What does he thinks?” are wrong sentences. The correct ones would read: “Does it work?” and “What does he think?”
• “Role” and “Roll” mustn’t be interchanged. “Role” is a noun and is used as “John has played a key role in the organization,” “The role of the comedian was crucial in the movie” etc. “Roll,” on the other hand, is a verb and is used as “He has rolled up the chart,” “The wheels of the vehicles were rolling” etc.
• “Past” and “Passed”. “Past” is an adjective which is referred when talking about a thing which has been over such as “past happiness,” “past president” etc. “Passed,” on the other hand, is the past tense of “pass”. “I have passed my graduation,” “Have you passed that information to everyone in the class?” etc.
• The pronunciation of “chore” (which is a noun and means a task or job) is as ch in child, and oor in door; but many people utter it from the K sound which is wrong. Cambridge dictionary website and howjsay.com are excellent sources to listen to the audio pronunciation.

Please click Avoid Common Errors and Errors to Avoid as I am sure that you all will find them very useful.

Separation

It is with a kind of an inexplicable joy that I am writing this post because I write very lightly yet you folks find it praiseworthy. (Inexplicable adjective: unable to be understood or explained.) I thank you all with my complete heart for appreciating my posts.

I am afraid I have not written here that I was in Delhi for a good period of time. I was pursuing diploma in computer applications and communications skills course from that big smoke. (Big smoke: big city.) I must timorously confess that I was never good at studies, and these courses were really beyond my abilities. (Timorously adverb fearfully or shyly.) But please don’t you presume that I failed in these courses for I did manage to get through them!

Somehow I also managed to get a job of website developer. It was like a lovely dream as this was the kind of job I was looking forward to! I was worried because my course was about to over and before that I had to get a suitable job.

My worry was intensified because employers all over India have preconceived notions against the blind, so for me, the chances of getting a suitable job were slim. Needless to tell, preconceived notions are wrong, and if they turn out to be right, it is due to sheer chance.

Whether these dim- witted (dim-witted: stupid or silly) employers understand this or not...I must tell that it is always ‘blind’ and not ‘blinds’; in plural we use it as ‘the blind’.

Anyway, as I was joyfully returning from the interview, it struck me that I will be separated from my friends. The grief of leaving them was so intense that it pretty overwhelmed me even in my joy. (Grief noun deep sorrow or suffering.) You rarely feel happy and sad at the same time, and when you do get in such a curious condition, a perplexed flood of excitement thrills your heart. Lost in excitement, I ran into the back of a parked truck and got an injury on my forehead from the protruding rods. (Protruding: sticking out.) Coincidently, as I write this post, a fresh injury at the same place on my forehead has been ripped open by a trolley which was hooked up to a tractor.

Those two days I was happy because the studies I had done were bearing fruits; sad because I was leaving my beloved friends; hopeful and nervous because I was entering the professional life; energetic because I had been appreciated; tired because of packing and finding a new place. It was an inexplicable storm of mixed emotions that I had never thought about.

We had planned that on getting jobs we will rent a flat and live together, but it was childish and impractical. Now we all are living in different cities: separation is all part of life’s rich tapestry. (Be all part of life’s rich pageant/tapestry [literary]: a sad and difficult but an unavoidable part of life.)

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Some useful phrases used above:
• Inexplicable joy
• Preconceived notions
• A perplexed flood of excitement
• An inexplicable storm of mixed emotions
• Childish and impractical

Talking up

I am sorry because I have not updated this blog since a very long time. But to my joy, I have been receiving your comments, and where most of them were
encouraging, a few appeared in any encrypted form (encrypted: electronic information or signals not understood due to secret coding.) I am amazed at the
creativity of people that how they manage to invent all that stuff! Naturally, I have not released those unclear comments.

At the moment I am stuck up in a building because some political leaders are about to arrive and due to security concerns I am unable to make a move.
I don't have my mobile phone otherwise I would have talked with my friend to while away these moments (while away something: to pass time in a relaxed
way as you have nothing to do or you are waiting for something.) So, I have cracked open this laptop to write for the blog. Good idea?

I phone my friends and love talking with them. (It is never 'phone to someone' - it is always 'phone someone'.) Spending time talking over phone often
makes people believe that you are having a romantic affair with someone, however, I am very far from it. Once my warden ma’am took me to task on this suspicion,
but thankfully I was able to convince her (take someone to task: to scold someone.)

A joyous thing in winters is warm sun. I enjoy warming myself in sun (not in sunshine / sunlight because linguistically it is wrong) and if I am having
tea and my beloved laptop is with me, it becomes like a dream.

I think that now those politicians have left and I can move. Heartfelt thanks for your sweet company and for bearing with me! I am very thankful because
you people like reading this blog, though really there is nothing special about it. I love you all!